I hear people say, when their divorce is final, “I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with him/her anymore.” While that is never really true [future post on that], it is most certainly inaccurate when you two have had children.
You want what’s best for your children. And ALL the research indicates that what’s best for them is a continuing relationship with BOTH of their parents who themselves have a positive working relationship with each other.
“BUT S/HE MAKES ME CRAZY!?!?!?”, you say. What can you do? How can you work WITH this person whom you just divorced? How can you keep your own temper in check, how can you keep from triggering his/her temper? How do you get heard without believing you have to YELL, how can you get things done and decisions made without…it…taking……..for…ever?!
No one is saying you are a bad person if you can’t. It’s understandable. It’s, unfortunately all too common. But if you want to be able to work with your ex, if you want to do what is best for you children, there is help available.
One source of such help is an upcoming free webinar being offered by Cat Zavis. Ms. Zavis is an experienced coach and teacher of NonViolent Communication. She also happens to be an experienced divorce attorney who has a great deal of passion for helping people who are divorced work together for the benefit of their children.
Check out some details and register for her free webinar here: http://www.parentingwithyourex.com/
If you are heading toward divorce and want to begin developing your ability to work WITH your ‘soon-to-be-ex’, there is NO better way than by moving through your divorce process using the Collaborative Practice Approach. If you’re in Chicago, I’d be honored to discuss that with you.